Bible Belts*
Here are some odd items relating to Christendom's "Good Book" (so-called).
Am I qualified to comment on this stuff? You bet! First, it's still a free
country. And, second, I have a certificate. Incidentally, you can
get one of these, too: It takes no more than a minute and it's free! Just
follow this link.
- Computing
PI -- according to the Bible the circle's
circumference-to-diameter ratio has a value of 3, not the 3-1/7 you
learned in school.
- David Takes a
Census -- Yahweh takes a dim view of demography,
apparently; he punished David's Census Bureau by ordering a 4-1/2 percent
undercount. Between this and his affair with Jonathan (see "cafeteria")
David did have his troubles.
- Hill Country of
E'phraim -- this story makes "Tobacco Road" and "Peyton
Place" look civilized. It's hard to say who is the creepiest in this
scenario. Don't expose children, or suggestible adults, to this story.
- Sodom and Gomorrah
-- Here's another one. What is it with these guys? Lot offers his
virgin daughters to a mob which is more interested in his male guests;
undaunted, he has them himself! The family that lays together....
- Cafeteria
Fundamentalism -- this is a letter I wrote to our local
paper. It was prompted by the paper's approval of Clinton's reversal of
his position on gays in the military. It was never published (till now, of
course). Not in the letter, but I wonder how fundies deal with David's
affair with Jonathan (see 1 Samuel 18-20 and 2 Samuel 1:26).
- Satan in the Machine (and other
666 tivia) -- Pat Robertson's worst fear proves true! But
all is not lost; with application of the finagle factor, it could mean you
get a new computer for Xma$.
- The Ages of Rocks
-- At the "Scopes monkey trial" William Jennings Bryan witnessed that he
cared more for the Rock of Ages than the ages of rocks. Here is proof that
he was right: nothing could have happened before 6,000 years ago. (Okay,
there are other points
of view).
- The 46th Psalm
Mystery -- Here is a puzzle for you to solve. Find the
hidden meaning, the hidden message, the ultimate semiotic in the King James
version of this text.
- Jesus
Gets His Penis Back -- After a preliminary penis-ectomy (an
over-enthusiastic circumcision?), the U.S. Postal Service - following a long
internal debate - re-attached the Sacred Member just in time for Xma$
1996.
* "Belts" can mean "punches", "laughs", or "strong shots of liquor" - take your choice.
My reference, where appropriate, is The Bible Gateway (RSV)