Professor Gratt
Hall, Donald (1928-)

And why does Gratt teach English?  Why, because
A law school felt he could not learn the laws.
"Hamlet," he tells his students, "you will find,
Concerns a man who can't make up his mind.
The Tempest? ... um ... the one with Ariel! ...
Are there more questions now?"  But one can tell
That all his will, brains, and imagination
Are concentrated on a higher station:
He wants to be in the Administration.
Sometimes at parties he observes the Dean;
He giggles, coughs, and turns aquamarine.
Yet some day we will hear of "Mr. Gratt,
Vice-President in Charge of This or That."
I heard the Dean remark, at tea and cakes,
Face stuffed and sneering, "Gratt has what it takes."

Oxford Book of American Light Verse (Harmon)